Who Am I?

Tara Brown
Jul 7
2 min read

Exploring Self-Identity and Finding Your True Self

“Who am I?”

It’s one of the oldest, deepest questions we ask ourselves—often quietly, sometimes in moments of crisis, and occasionally with bold curiosity.

But if you’ve ever sat with that question and felt confused, stuck, or even a little lost, you’re not alone. Self-identity isn’t something we’re handed at birth. It’s something we discover, shape, and reshape over time.

Let’s explore what it means to figure out who you really are—and how to begin uncovering your sense of self.

What Is Self-Identity?

Your self-identity is the combination of qualities, values, beliefs, experiences, and roles that make you… you.

It includes things like:

Your personality (Are you introverted? Outgoing? Sensitive?)
Your passions and interests
Your cultural background and life experiences
Your values (What do you stand for?)
How you see yourself—and how you believe others see you

But here's the important part: Your identity is not a fixed label. It's more like a living story—one that evolves as you grow, learn, and change.

Why Do I Feel Like I Don’t Know Who I Am?

There are times in life when our sense of self feels shaky or unclear—after a breakup, during a career change, in early adulthood, or after years of prioritizing others.

You might realize you’ve been defining yourself by roles (parent, partner, employee) or expectations rather than your true thoughts, feelings, and desires.

This can feel unsettling… but it’s also a powerful turning point.

How Do I Begin Discovering Who I Am?

Here are some gentle steps to begin exploring your self-identity:

1. Get Curious, Not Critical

Instead of judging yourself for not knowing who you are, get curious. Ask questions like:

What lights me up?
What drains me?
What matters most to me—even when no one’s watching?

2. Try New Things

Sometimes we find ourselves through exploration. Try a new hobby, visit a place you've never been, or spend time with different kinds of people. Each experience can offer a clue to what resonates—and what doesn’t.

3. Reflect on Your Values

Values are the compass that guides your identity. Ask yourself:

What do I believe in deeply?
What qualities do I admire in others?
What kind of person do I want to be?

4. Journal Without Judgment

Write freely about how you feel, what you’ve been through, and what you want. Don’t worry about making sense. Just give your inner voice space to speak.

5. Release the “Shoulds”

Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be, and make space for who you are. That means setting boundaries, shedding old roles, and questioning beliefs that no longer fit.

Remember: You’re Allowed to Evolve

Identity isn’t a one-time decision—it’s a process. You’re allowed to change your mind. You’re allowed to grow. You’re allowed to wake up one day and say, “This isn’t who I am anymore,” and begin again.

The question “Who am I?” doesn’t have to be answered all at once. It’s okay to start with:“I don’t know yet, but I’m learning.”

And that, truly, is enough.